Zoo (Zoo Series, 1)

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The sexism. The first (and actually only) sex scene in the whole book is so flagrantly written to play up Oz's rampant masculinity and dominance that it was unintentionally hilarious. Later, when Oz meets his obligatory Sexy Science Babe, every single time she's mentioned he reminds us how gorgeous she is, how very pretty and delicate and small, how totally unlike every other scientist woman he's ever met. Blargh. Not only that, but her whole role is to admire, cheer-lead, support, fall in love, and need comforting and defending. I've never read Patterson before. I thought this premise sounded interesting, and hoped that maybe this book would fill the niche left by my running out of Crichton books I feel like reading/re-reading. It was a ride. A somewhat horrifying ride at times. This is one of those books that, when you start reading it, you're thinking "This is so far-fetched! It could never happen!"...and then you start thinking too much and you look at the person walking their dog outside and scream and "AWWWWW!" at the same time while simultaneously bolting your door shut and wishing you could pet the SWEET SMOL BEAN.

Edinburgh Zoo is owned by the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland, a wildlife conservation charity devoted to connecting people to nature and safeguarding threatened species. Added this book into the mix this year for a challenge- Why aren't there more books that start with a "Z" out there?Jesus Christ... James Patterson has sunk to a new low... And he's been to some pretty low points. This book is not only one of the worst James Patterson books I've read, it's one of the worst books I have ever read, period. Here are a few reasons why... Oh. While he's gone to Botswana, he asks his New York girlfriend to come in once a day and feed his pet chimpanzee, Atilla. Well, that's kind of like saying "don't go into the basement, Martha!" while the spooky music plays. Naturally by the time he and the new girlfriend return, he finds the body of the old girlfriend (well that was convenient) in the apartment that has been totally trashed, and the chimp gone. Curtain.

Anyway, all of this leads to an interesting thought experiment: What happens when rats, bats, dogs, and dolphins (all lead by a single chimpanzee) take over the world and potentially lead to the fall of human civilization as we know it, while our only savior is a crazy introvert who knew this was going to happen all along? To save you from having to read this pile of excrement, let me give you an overview. It's a spoiler alert, but I prefer to think I'm doing you a HUGE favor by writing it. Read at your discretion.My God was this an awful book. If I had any respect whatsoever for Patterson after his awful "Cross Country," it has totally disappeared. The prices above include a voluntary 10% donation to our various conservation projects EDUCATION BOOKINGS In the meantime, people are still going out into the woods to go on fishing trips while the military has decided that the only solution to the problem is to bomb all the animals. Kill 'em all. One day, Timmy and Spot are inseparable. The next, Timmy has to blow Spot away because he has become crazed and tries to rip apart his mother. The lions at the zoo that Arnold the zookeeper has taken care of for 8 years suddenly are not interested in the zebra carcass that he gives them, because all they can think about is ripping his face off. Those cute little squirrels in central park don't want your bread crumbs, Karen. They want to eat out your eyes. The president is emotional because it seems that her daughter was eaten by the family dog and the pres had to kill it. Of course.